For every season, there is a reason.

On me: ballet leggings, zara shirt, cottonon high waist
which i bought for 20 bux and then the next week it became 10 bux !@!#!#

I didn't wear the high waist skirt though as I know I'd be like monkey in church and thus I changed to a high waist pant instead which do me just fine.. Finally completed my online resume as well as my very first typed one (completed with the most decent photo of mine). T helped me in editing the format and gave me his for a reference which makes me super duper glad cos at least I know my resume is proper!

Columbia hasn't given me a reply whether the admission is successful or not. I am not worried about this at all because I know that no matter what is the reply or whats gonna happen, I'd just be fine. Now, I want to get a job badly.

Turns out that the child care job I am applying to need me to be trained and I have to pay for the training fees.. and so now I am contemplating if I should take the job or no. I am going to find other jobs later on. Probably place like border. No, JCO isn't in my choice anymore cos I've tried it and I want to find another job that will give me a whole new experience..

News.

After being in SG for almost a month, all I do at home is read books, watch dramas, movies, study for my TOEFL and EAT. (thats the worse activity ever cos I am gonna gain all the fats I lost during O.)

Anyway, yea, SR rejected me into their school. I do wonder how my life would change if they did accept me? I could be happy and jump with joy or I could be rejecting them back altogether (Which I guess it IS DEFINITELY not what i am going to do..) And, I doubt the prospect of Food Science. I mean, well, it's interesting.. I can find jobs easily according to some people.. and it's FOOD. I love food and chemistry. Why not right?! However, I don't see myself in that. I don't see myself doing food science in lab. I hate lab. You must be asking me then why did I choose that at the first place..? Oh well, I thought I could have gotten into SRJC!! and I thought I could do that.. I could drop my dream of writing and pick up another dream... in my dismay, it wasnt that easy.. tears, struggle, prayers.. I just hope God will give me the best.

In the end, applied to Columbia College canada. Just hoping that everything goes out smoothly. If it's His plan, it will right? aspoonfulofcoffee will be the first to hear the news of my acceptance or not!!

So yea...news after news.. I am like waiting for news everyday..

Wondering

If my dad reads this?

Anyway, I AM SORRY DAD.

I SHOULDNT HAVE SHOUTED AT U :(
shouldnt have cried.
shouldnt have things my way

whatever will be will be

Under the velvet.

We are in the Earth, trying to live life in a way we understand. Trying to find someone, somebody that can hold us long and tight.


---

She stared hard at the mirror. Wondering what she had become. A woman she, herself could not understand. Someone with such complexity she wished she could unveil. Everything in her life looked wrong. Getting the wrong man, the wrong life, the wrong wish and the wrong dream. Many times she wished she could take hold of her future. Perhaps, it would have been a better one. Better life. Tears flew down hard.

---

It took some people twenty years to find their true love.
It took some people nineteen years to find their soulmate
But somehow, it takes a married couple to see if their love is worthwhile to bloom into a true love.

---

A man's ego grabbed him down into drain.
A man's wallet pulled him to nowhere
A man's virtue makes him see where he is going
A man's belief molds the character he has
A man's character foresees his future.

---

Just my own thoughts. Made into short stories, poems, quotes.

A letter to me on August 2007

Found this letter, dated 3 years back.. And I guess, it does show how my innerself really caught myself up.


Dear odri,

how i wish time will fly
where things start to change real fast and all you got to do is just about blinking your two little small eyes.

i know at times you feel tired. at times you realized that no human beings actually really care about you but i hope you can stand strong and go through all these. sometimes, you tried to shut yourself up in a place because you thought they don't know where you are.. you are always wrong. instead of having yourself shut out from them, you gotten yourself in a deep gossip.

i truly also understand your feeling right now or maybe every type of your feelings since the age where your memory starts to work. because right now, i am you writing back to you.

odri i want to help you so much to go through everything you are going through now regardless of friendship, family or even studies. but i realised i, myself cant help pull myself up.

be glad that your relationship with God is really strong and close that He has empowered you to spread the gospels. i know girl, things will be hard. not all times will be easy and most of the times you need endurance but can you stay on? Be glad that now God loves you so much that everything that is happening is His plan.

Girl, people may say you things. may call you names or even may tease you but be strong. it is just a parcel of life that will move. Remember, God never move His way out of you even though you kept pulling away from Him.

Dearest darling. Remember that in time like this. Where you feel so sick but noone is there for you. (you expect noone anyway) God is with you everywhere you go. Just obey Him. People may thought you always seek those attentions. You are a chatter box. You feel sad and dismayed but girl, never once dropped yourself down to a kind of desperation you once have last time. Remember to stay strong. Jesus, your ever longlasting Daddy never cease loving you. He is always always theere.

In times when you fall, read back this letter and get the words into your head.

people may betray you countless times and you may feel you got nowhere to turn sometimes but remember you can turn to Him.

It's just a few more years before your dreams of doing something with Him or even spending full time with Him can come true. You got to carry on. He has such a great purpose for you that you cannot back out or even say you're tired. He loves you so much so endure all these girl.

Remember your childhood ambition of becoming FBI? Journalist? Are the ambitions still there, girl? Remember girl, stay strong for your dream. You will be able to reach them all. Who cares about others? Remember be who you are in His eyes.

Girl, you must stay strong even though one day, you are alone.

or even though, you know. this is the last time i remind you to stay strong. dont keep getting sick. everything is going to stay where is it when He said so. Remember, believe in the miracles. Your faith must grow girl. You got a lot to learn so dont feel tired. Walking with Him is a long walk and a beautiful one. Even though one day, you got to learn to givee up your dreams, i know He wont force you. You are willing to do that yourself.

You go girl. I love you now and I dont hate you anymore. Remember how He picked you up last time? Thats how at the same time He picked me up.

Me, your soul and you the inner one.

I know you can make it.
You can do such great things with those children. Though times may seem difficult and you may feel like going mad, remember one thing. He picked you up in times like that. You can pick them up too.

Girl, dearest dearest odri. I am literally tearing as I type all these. It seems so funny but I just feel like writing a letter to you. On how i know you are tired and you want sometime alone. Girl, stay strong. Don't be too self-conscious. I know sometimes you are too serious but be flexible girl! I am sorry last time. I tried to hurt you. I tried to make things difficult so you will get scolded innerly. I am sorry last time I wanted to try silly things on you.

I love you know and forever because His love is just too great.
Girl, now you know why He loves you so much? Because He created you and He sees your heart. Will you not care about others anymore?

love,

odri


what a letter found at the right time.

Currently

In love with witty Barney.

Alvin, please get season 2!! I know you're dying to get it! Haha. I shall leave it to you!

Idk

For the first time in my life, I am struggling and needing more faith than I thought I have.